Earlier this year, Sam Smith came out as non-binary with a preference for the pronouns “they,” “their,” and “them,” because the Stay With Me singer identifies with both masculine and feminine genders. And, while they still feel vulnerable in the music industry after coming out, they say it was worth it.

Smith talked with SiriusXM’s Hits 1 this past week, and they said during the interview that the music industry can be a bit homophobic and sexist at times, but that won’t keep them from living their truth.

They talked a bit about their new music video How Do You Sleep? that features Smith dancing in high heels. They said that filming the video was scary, but they discovered that when you’re vulnerable you feel joy quicker.

“So being feminine like this in the way I move and dance and am, it feels quite scary at times but is worth it,” said Smith. “I’m realizing now that’s the best space to be in. You feel joy quicker when being vulnerable like that.”

Smith explained that they have always been like that in the club, with friends, and with people they feel safe with. But, showing it to the world is a different thing, and they finally felt safe enough to do so.

Still, Smith admits that being their feminine self still makes them feel “scared every day.”

Smith talked with British GQ earlier this year about gender identity, and they said that ever since they were a little human, they didn’t feel comfortable being a man. Some days they have a manly side, and some days they have a womanly side. But, it’s when they are in the middle of that switch that they get “really, really depressed and sad” because they don’t know who they are, where they are, or what they are doing.

“I realized that’s because I don’t fit into either,” said Smith.

The I’m Not The Only One singer also dished on their celebrity crush, Honey Boy writer and star Shia LaBeouf. They said that LeBeouf came up on their phone the night before, and Smith has a thing for the actor because he is “so fit.” Smith went on to say that LaBeouf turns him on.

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Sam Smith doesn’t think that Shia LaBeouf is gay, but they are happy “to be his first.”