During the most recent episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, star Jackie Goldschneider got real with her co-stars Melissa Gorga and Margaret Josephs about how her anorexia nearly killed her.

“I want you to understand that getting past an eating disorder and to a place in your life where you can actually eat something and be OK with it, people don’t understand how hard it was to get past that,” said Goldschneider during lunch with Gorga and Josephs.

Goldschneider also explained that her dad had nothing but the best intentions (he told her that her eating disorder was “almost worth it” because it makes her “a good inspiration to kids who are heavy”), but she doesn’t believe he really understood what she was going through when she was in her twenties.

Josephs then asked her how she decided to get treatment for her eating disorder, and the 43-year-old said it took her getting to the point that when she stood on the scale she weighed “nothing.”

To explain further, Goldschneider said that she and her husband Evan went to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico for their honeymoon, but the only thing she ate during the vacation was canned tuna and apples that she brought with her.

Goldschneider said through tears that when she got home and jumped on the scale, she realized, “OK, I’m going to die.” That’s the moment she decided she needed help because if she didn’t, she wasn’t going to survive.

The RHONJ star decided to open up to her co-stars about her struggles with food after she got into an argument with Josephs over accusations that Goldschneider doesn’t think about food and doesn’t eat a lot.

Jackie Goldschneider has talked in the past about her battle with anorexia. She told People magazine in 2018 that she was the thinnest person in the room, and she was always going to be the thinnest person in the room because that was her identity and that’s what she wanted.

She also told Us Weekly late last year that it wasn’t easy talking about her eating disorder on RHONJ, but if it resonates with others and possibly helps people know that they aren’t alone, then she’s happy to do it. Still, when people joke about her not eating, it upsets her.

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New episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey air Wednesday nights on Bravo.